Creation

“You’re mourning the loss of what you thought your life was going to be. Let it go. Things don’t always work out how you plan. That’s not necessarily bad. Things have a way of working out anyway.”

Frasier Crane

I was the kid with the planner.

I still am.

If you knew me in high school, I was that kid walking the hallways with a big binder, a big textbook, and a tiny planner notebook stacked together, enwrapped in my arms.

My life had to be planned, structured, color-coded, categorized.

Every detail had to be accounted for, even the unknown factors.

I was an ambitious, over-achieving perfectionist who always knew the next step, the next phase in her life.

But I have found the complete opposite of me in this current phase of my life.

I feel like I’m standing in the middle of a void, and I look all around me and just see . . . nothing. No step, no way to go. No particular passion for anything.

Just a small dream or two.

And for the longest time, I’ve hated it. Hated the void, hated the mundane, hated the bleak color of it all. Hated the fact that I went from someone who always knew what she was doing next to someone who has remotely no idea what the next step is.

I was trying to look for some spectacular wildfire of passion, when really, all I needed to do was begin to see this void, this phase of my life as a blank slate.

It’s a time to start over, to re-forge myself and my passions and my dreams from the marble of the blank slate.

And with this mindset, I can finally let go of mourning what I thought my life was going to be, what my life was leading up to this point. Instead, I can take comfort in the fact that things will eventually work out for themselves.

I will end up where I need to be.

Until then, it’s only a matter of waiting, and starting to chip away at the blank slate to turn it into a new and beautiful creation.