Friends (What They Don’t Tell You in High School)

What they never tell you in high school is this:

the friends you find here will not always be found.

Some will be lost along the way–

some among the walkways of school,

some after you walk out the doors for the last time,

some after you leave a college campus,

and some after a major fall-out.

They never tell you that some of these friends were never meant to be life-long friends–just temporary.

They shape you and make you for a limited time, and then they go, because their job is done.

But then you’ll find new friends.

Some, again, are temporary.

But some will last you a lifetime, becoming a whole new sort of family.

They never tell you that it’s okay to let go of those you’ve called friends for years.

For sometimes as we age, we become different people and just naturally fall away.

And there’s no need to mourn or worry. Because those friends will always be friends–but they’ll just be the sort of friends you meet in happenchance decades down the road and with whom you strike up a reminiscent conversation.

They never tell you that this is a natural part of life. It’s a natural process of growing up and growing apart . . . and that it’s okay.

It’s okay if we just take different paths and let good, long friendships fall by the wayside.

There’s an inherently sad, yet peaceful goodbye in these types of friendships. It’s saying, “See you later,” but with a somber, knowing tone that this “later” will be years down the road.

They never tell you this in high school . . . and really, it’s all okay,

for all of us are meant to learn this along our own ways.

4 thoughts on “Friends (What They Don’t Tell You in High School)

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  1. Yes, amen.

    I still maintain one friendship from high school, and while it’s important to me, it’s not my deepest.

    It wasn’t until I was in the army in Kentucky that I made a friend that went to a whole other level of intimacy and sitnificance, and this would lead to another similarly deep friendship with a mutual friend after I’d moved to Alabama. Those friendships are, over twenty years later, hugely sitnificant, though they have edded and evolved as I and they have evolved and life has led us to where we are.

    Along the way, other important, though less intimate, friendships have materialized, all timely and crucial in their own way, for me and for my friends.

    And all of this is a sort of system in which exist and am fed and am able to contribute something meaningful of myself and receive something meaningful in return.

    Be yourself, and be open. Your people will find you. And however much the hermit life may seem appealing, we need people, people need us.


    1. Thank you so much, Jeremy, for sharing your experiences and your advice! I am in the midst of learning right now what you described as a system. I’m starting to see myself as the Sun, and I have all these planets/friendships circling me. Some planets are naturally bigger with bigger forces of gravitational pull, and some are naturally smaller with less forceful gravitational pulls. As you were pointing out, all these different friendships are important to me and to my solar system, for they shape every aspect. And as I move on to other chapters in my life, I am looking forward to staying true to myself and remaining open, so that I can find more great planets to add to my solar system!
      P.S. Thank you for being a significant planet in mine. 🙂


  2. For whatever reason, I didn’t get a notification about your reply here, so I’m just now seeing this!

    I like your analogy. Especially given how many suns, how many planets—how many galaxies!—there are in the known universe. One sun, one system, in seven billion…

    I’m thankful to be one of your planets 🙂

    (And goodness, I just re-read my previous comment and saw the spelling issues! I guess I’ll need to start typing these elsewhere and editing before I post…)


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