She couldn’t take it anymore. All the frustration from the past few weeks had built up–all the snide remarks, all the nagging, all the low self-esteem–and it finally boiled up to a point and spilled out of her mouth:
“You are the eye that never sees, the ear that never hears. You show every nook and cranny there is to me; nothing escapes your view. You say that I’m fat. You say that I’m ugly. You say that nobody would love me, and that nobody deserves me. I say to myself in the silence of the night, ‘You’re wrong. I am the ideal weight and size. I’m beautiful, and there are people who love me for who I am.’ But you hear nothing, and you keep dragging me into your deep, dark depths, where I drown in your ocean of discouragement. Sometimes, there is no escape. I’m trapped in low self-esteem and insecurities. However, there are times when you flip around, and you see a different side of me.
“You say that I’m gorgeous. You say that I’m nice, and that someone will notice me. I say to myself in the silence of the night, ‘You’re wrong. I’m ugly. I’m not nice. Nobody will notice that I exist.’ But you hear nothing, and you keep pulling me up into your high, bright heights, where I float on the clouds of encouragement. When will you choose a side and stick with it? When will you stop messing with me? I do not need a flattering lie–I need the truth. And the truth is: I am created by the God who does not make mistakes. Yes, I have faults, and yes, I have good traits as well, but God still loves me despite all that. He created me knowing that I would sin, and even fall away from Him sometimes. And He still loves me! So you can go ahead and show everything you see, but I won’t pay attention. You see, I have my priorities straight: since when did I ditch God for a reflection?
Great Kaylee
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