I started senior year today.
While I know deep down that this is the last year, and that I’m going to be graduating in just a few months, somehow I still have trouble believing it.
The surreal reality that I will be living on my own within a year is intimidating, yes . . . but it’s also beautiful.
Even though today marked the beginning of the end, and the end of May will mark the end of the end, it’s exciting to see where I’m going to end up on that day.
I don’t particularly mean where I’ll end up on the stage with a diploma in my hand, but where I’ll end up in my decisions, in my values, and in my dreams. Where will I decide to go to college? Will my values be of ones that give me the drive to start and continue this new stage of my life even through the downfalls? Or will they be of ones that give me the ideas to give in when things get rough and to be about as decisive as the wind? Will my dreams today be my dreams then, and will they continue on even in the outside world?
Sometimes it feels as if I’m still that little girl starting kindergarten, excited to be the student of the day and take her nap in the designated spot for students of the day. Senior year was something that was always in the future. It was always a certain amount of years away . . .
. . . and now, it’s today.
While some kids are reluctant to see things come to a close, and others are excited to get on with their lives, I can’t help but experience both of these emotions. While I’m reluctant to let go of leading the band during Friday night football, having all kinds of conversations with my friends everyday (some strange, others deep), and conversing with all the people I have met and made friends with here, I know that in order to move on and see and have more beautiful things, I need to let go of all this.
It will always be a chapter in my life. Just because a new one is being written doesn’t mean I can’t go back and re-read this one.
So when I walk across that stage—on my final day as a high school student—I will continue walking. Instead of walking down the stairs, I will walk into the rest of my life.
It may be intimidating, yes—but what good thing in life is obtained without having to overcome obstacles?