I don’t know whether to love you or lose you.
I don’t know whether to say goodnight or goodbye.
Because if I say goodnight, then the morning is on the horizon. I just have to endure the dark night where I cry because I don’t know what happened or why it happened.
But if I say goodbye, then a new day begins in which you aren’t there anymore. A new morning appears, in which yesterday is just a memory, and nothing more.
And maybe you were meant to be just that: a memory that went down with the moon, never to be seen except only in the dark times of night.
But maybe, just maybe you were meant to be more.
Maybe instead of the moon from the past night, you are instead the sun that sits on the edge of the horizon. You are my past, but you are also my future.
And right now, there is really no point in speculating which one you are. While speculating isn’t bad, it wastes time and fills it with worry instead of fun.
So for now, I’ll say goodnight. And if you come when the sunrise appears, then I’ll do my best to continue caring for you and being your friend. I will love you as a friend.
But if you set with the moon, then I’ll do my best to respect your memory, and reflect on all the good times we had and all the lessons you taught me. I will love you as a memory.
But for now, I’ll sit in this dark night while I wait for the sunrise. I’ll continue living my life, whether it’s filled with love or loss.
Either way, I’ll pay the cost.